mission partially accomplished...

I ate the apple.
I finished work.
I wrote a little.
I worked on the newsletter a little.
Haven't named the CPAP.

:-)

Now watching Supernatural.

Life doesn't suck.

Wednesday

I've been awake since 6:30am, and I've already accomplished 3 things:
massage (thank heavens--it was time!!)
follow-up and CPAP purchase from Sound Sleep Health (yay!)
made it to work

Now I need to do four things between now and bedtime:
work
newsletter
eat the apple on my desk!
name my CPAP machine
write

Okay, so that's five things. I can handle it. :-)

I also need to sign in to hulu at some point and start building a queue so I don't have to go look for the things I want to watch anymore--they'll just show up in my queue. Thanks to Melissa P for that particular bit of advice. If she were a follower of my blog, she would see that "thank you", but she's not, so...I'll have to remember to thank her somewhere else, too.

Soundtrack for NaNo 2010. Haven't figured out what I want on it yet, but I can try to figure that out this weekend.

work

So the plan involves being here for another year at the most. I'm certain I can do this, despite the fact that I haven't wanted to be here for quite some time.

However...at the moment, I just don't feel like working. Not a little, not a lot, not AT ALL. Good thing I'm in charge of assigning work then, being alll responsible. :-P

Tuesday

The teacher isn't seeing someone else; I guess it didn't work out. So I told my very nice friend, who is going to help me fill out some stuff on a free dating site, that I'm out of it either way. I don't want to wait around for the teacher to get his shit together, and I'm sick of sitting around on my ass not doing anything to find someone I might actually have a chance to make a life with.

Of course, I have this feeling that no matter what, if the teacher decides he wants to see me, I will very likely say yes.

But the end part of the first paragraph here, about finding someone I might have a chance to make a life with (ended with a preposition)...that is true. Very true. It's something I've been feeling for a long time now, and I think it's definitely time for it to be true, and something I will act on.

better now

But I still don't want to be at work.

A friend has offered to come over tonight and help me get some stuff straight for a dating site. He pretends to be kind of a non-caring hardass, but he's really not. He even sat for my cats once when I went out of town. He's got a girlfriend, which is a bit of a shame, but he's still willing to come hang out with me. I just have to remember to not tell anyone, or it'll "ruin his rep". ;-)

If there is anyone reading this, please go to the link under stuff "I'm digging" and click on the SJ Tucker link. I can't stop listening to her music. I love it. If I'm not listening to her stuff, I'm listening to Marian Call's--also a link there. Feel free to share links to music you love as well, and I'll check it out for sure.

In the meantime, there's work to be done, smutty fanfiction to read, stuff to write, and inadvertent naps to avoid.

the teacher

It sounds like, from some FB posts in the past couple of weeks, the teacher I've been in love (lust?) with since I was 14 has either found himself someone else or has gone back to his wife.

Now I consider myself a pretty big-hearted person, and as such, all I really want is for the people around me to be happy. Really and truly happy, no matter what that looks like for them. At the same time, there was a thought in my head that he would be leaving his wife, and that there might be some sort of chance for us to see if there was actually something between us. After seeing those comments, it looks unlikely.

I am disappointed by this, and there's this feeling in my chest that's not quite pain. So I guess I get to feel this for a little while, and then I'll be better. Haven't felt this way in a while, and I'm just not digging it.

Just a point of clarification, in case someone I know actually reads this. I was not involved with him; I don't get involved with men who are married, no matter how sucky their marriage is. I'm not EVER going be the "other woman".

work, or write?

I would, of course, much rather write.

But this doesn't, at all, fit in with the plan. *sigh*

So instead, I shall work. And possibly work on the church newsletter I was meant to finish yesterday afternoon. I took a nap instead of doing the newsletter, and I have to say I needed the nap more than I needed to work on the newsletter.

Of course, working is a subjective term. I am working, I am at work...but I'm thinking of other things. :-)

Time to go pay off part of a credit card.